Creative family constellation
My first encounter with the family constellation approach occurred as part of a month-long shamanic study retreat in the desert. In this retreat they invited a number of guides from around the world, who specialize in different methods of healing and empowerment.
One of these experts was Yishai Gaster, who founded the "Constellation Way - School for Family and Systemic Constellation” in Israel". From the very first group meeting I felt that I had arrived home, a kind of a defining moment in which I realized that I was in the right place and that there was something very significant for me here. I saw how the different parts connected within me into one harmonious and flowing unity.
Creative family and systemic constellation
Family constellation, that later was renamed systemic constellation, is an approach from the world of phenomenology (the theory of phenomena) developed by the German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger (6/12/1925-19/9/2019). Early on, Hellinger studied philosophy, theology and education.
He worked for 16 years as a missionary for a Catholic order among the Zulus in South Africa, where he delved into the tribal shamanic healing method. When he returned to Germany, he went back to school and specialized in a large variety of treatment methods. Psychoanalysis studies in Vienna, family therapy, Gestalt, Ericksonian hypnotherapy, group dynamics.
In the early 80s, Bert Hellinger presented family constellation to Europeans in seminars for therapists. Starting from the 90s, he consolidated his observations and research into principles and insights in many books including: 'Acknowledging what is', 'Touching love', 'The hidden symmetry of love'.
Nowadays, family and systemic constellation is recognized worldwide and used in many different fields. In psychotherapy, organizational and management consulting, education, medicine, mediation and life coaching. From a rigid technique with very clear rules, it evolved into an open approach that accepts what is as it is.
How does this work?
Family and systemic constellation deals with observing and acknowledging information that arises intuitively from the story that the advisee brings to the meeting.
The technique used is based on spatial transference of information from the subject's personal and collective unconscious to the room space.
The guide questions the advisee and according to his replies he offers him a number of representations of characters and issues related to the story they are working on. These representations are represented by participants from the group or the guide himself in a one-on-one meeting.
In the constellative process, the dynamics between the various characters within the familial, cultural, and organizational system are revealed. As a result, an unconscious identification with figures from the family history, archetypal or archaic figures is revealed. It is assumed that the mixing with figures and events from the systemic past is a source of problems and difficulties embodied in the present of the advisee and those close to him.
The way to be freed from the unconscious role we have assumed is through radical acknowledgment of everything that arises from the advisee’s field, without judgment, prejudice or criticism, to see things as they appear in this specific moment.
What is the difference between a creative family constellation and a systemic family constellation?
The basis of the approaches is similar, the same principles and systemic order. The difference lies in the fact that in a creative family constellation, I incorporate techniques from the world of art therapy into the classic process of family/systemic constellation.
I formulated this approach from a creative, playful point of view, which allows one to observe the resolution of conflicts and problems in new ways. I emphasize the development of creative thinking, connection to the worlds of imagination and natural intuition, alongside simple listening, remaining grounded and a deep connection to the body out of full presence in the here and now.
What are the principles of family constellation?
The principles are also called the 'orders of love'. What helps the system feel better and act healthier.
The first principle is the principle of belonging. Everyone who belongs to the system belongs to it equally. Belonging is determined by biological ties, parents and children, by marriage ties.
The family also includes external people who contributed to saving the lives of family members, adopting parents, and alternatively, those who took the life of a family member. According to this principle, no person can be excluded from the system, everyone belongs.
The first principle is the principle of priority.
The intergenerational element, the chronological order in which parents come before their children, the older brothers come before the younger brothers. Those born earlier get priority over those born after them.
The parent is the one who gave life to his child. When there is a confusion of roles between the child and the parent (an unconscious process), the parent weakens compared to the child and therefore has less life energy to pass on to him, and the child is burdened by a role he has taken on but does not actually belong to him.
Therefore, when the natural order is returned to the system, the flow of life force intensifies and passes from the previous generations to the descendants.
The third principle is the principle of balance between giving and taking. All taking should be balanced by giving. When looking at the give-and-take between parent and child: The natural order is for the parent to give while the child takes. The child's way to balance the parent's giving is to pass on to future generations, or society.
In relationships: The balance is broken when one side gives much more, and the other side mainly takes. To balance the situation, the receiving party must give more, and the giving party must receive more.
When one or more of these principles are violated, the proper order in the system is violated and this is reflected in difficulties, illnesses and problems experienced by the various items within it.
In the constellative meeting we will strive to restore the natural order, the order of love to the system through an investigation of the dynamics between the various representations as it is manifested in the here and now.
What is the field of phenomena and why can't it be explained in words?
The field of phenomena is the most important basic principle, prior to any other principle in the family and systemic constellation. It starts from the moment when the advisee sits next to the guide, even before the subject and representations are presented, it already exists.
Sometimes representatives will testify that the field of the constellation had already called them a day or two before, and they had thoughts that turned out to be related to the constellation that existed without knowing in advance what the subject was.
Being a representative is a privilege, it's an unusual experience, yet much easier and natural than you think.
It can be said that the experience somewhat resembles psychodrama, but it is completely different from a game.
As soon as the representative stands on the fabric, and starts representing a family member of the advisee, or one of the lineage’s generations, his body language, the way he speaks, the discourse that arises, just like the characters from the advisee’s life.
All without the representative knowing them, or the advisee, or receiving a preliminary briefing, and by that a deep truth can be revealed.
When experiencing the constellation certain things can be sensed without words, feel one’s body, the posture, an energetic movement that pulls forward, backward, or to the sides, am I comfortable in the place of the representation, would I like to move to another place, a feeling of contraction or expansion, depending on how the session develops.
Dynamics are created with additional representatives, sometimes feelings arise from the representation itself, towards other representations, sometimes a word, sometimes a song, sometimes a color.
In the field of phenomena, everything belongs, the guide sees every phenomenon, everything that happens during the constellation meeting as belonging to the field and will always ask himself about the connection to the subject and the constellation.
Therefore, the field of phenomena is magical, and its mysteries cannot be explained in words.
He will always be like that, and the reason is that its bigger than everything.
In the natural order of the family constellation, the parent has priority, he is the one who gives to the child and the child is the one who gives to his child and so on, therefore the field cannot be explained in words because the explanation would diminish it and he would no longer be magical and greater than everything.
How one connects to a representation?
The guide instructs the participants how to feel the posture and listen to their body sensations. Then focus and pay attention to everything that comes to mind. Starting with an image, sound, word, down to a color, association, and memory. Radical inclusion, everything is relevant, everything belongs.